Big Chief Tablet
Tales from the Lowcountry
They say the South is full of storytellers, but I am unconvinced. It may be more accurate to say that it is full of people who are very, very tired. At least this was my childhood experience in Tennessee and Mississippi, where there was very little to do but shoot things or get them pregnant. After a full day of killing and fornicating, it was only natural that everyone grew weary. So we sat around. Some would sit and nap, others would sit and drink. Frequently, there was drinking and then napping. The pious would read their Bibles, while their children would find a shady spot to know one another biblically, or perhaps give birth to a child from a previous knowing. Eventually, though, all the sitting led to talking, which supposedly led to all the stories, or at least the beginnings of stories.
In my family, we were unable to finish any.
This recipe engenders a radical new discourse among yams of various traditions, although the exact nature of alternate new discourses is not predicated by the precise mode of the current proposed project, as indicated by the author's openness to interpretive dialogues that involve large marshmallows, pecans, sugar, cinnamon, and bourbon (optional).
“Is that all I should say at graduation?” I asked my children. “Shouldn’t I tell a story?” And they were like, “Definitely do not tell a story.” And I was like, “Why?” And they were like, “Trust us.” And that is one piece of advice I’m going to ignore, because I’m going to tell you a story.
"All through elementary school I showed a keen interest in writing, which I did by hand, with a pencil and paper, which I then folded and handed to girls in my class, in hopes that they would bear my children. That taught me a valuable lesson for a young writer, which is that sometimes people who read your work will want to bear your children, so it's always good to carry protection, by which I mean a weapon."
This series of college football–themed fables includes everything from, "The Student Trainer who Cried Wolf" to "The Tortoise and the Business Major." An installment of Big Chief Tablet.
An installment of Big Chief Tablet.
An installment of Big Chief Tablet.
An installment of Big Chief Tablet.
An installment of Big Chief Tablet.
An installment of Big Chief Tablet.
An installment of Big Chief Tablet.
An installment of Big Chief Tablet.
An installment of Big Chief Tablet.
An installment of Big Chief Tablet.
An installment of Big Chief Tablet.
An installment of Big Chief Tablet.
An installment of Big Chief Tablet.
An installment of Big Chief Tablet.
